Week commencing 02.11.03

Who is who

In the news on Monday it was revealed that nearly half of Britain does not know that John Prescott is the deputy PM. In addition 4/10 thought that UN Secretary general Kofi Annan was an Iraqi army officer or fashion designer

This is understandable, considering that ‘the Sun’ is Britains best selling newspaper closely followed by ‘the Mirror’.

Ask these same people what ‘Posh and Becks’ where wearing on Sunday and they would quote you chapter and verse.

Marathon man

On Sunday Sir Ranulph Fiennes completed seven marathons in seven days.
So, I can finish eight Yorkies in one hour.

The ‘sick’ boat

For the first time in 30 years Spain has closed its borders to Gibraltar due to the fact that the P&O cruise liner (otherwise known as ‘the sick boat’) has docked there to take on supplies.

Critics say that Spain is making a point about the sovereignty of Gibraltar but I am not too sure. Why did the liner just not come home?
If there is a ship full of sick people, why has this become ‘the slowest boat to China’ rather than ‘full steam ahead’ to get home. I am sure that the passengers do not want to be sick on a boat.

I would suggest that they are being quarantined and Spain is quite right to be concerned, if Britain is using every delay tactic in retrieving these people.

Dozey Judge

On Tuesday Judge Michael Coombe admitted falling asleep during the trial of the doomed £200million Millennium Dome diamond robbery. The three robbers, jailed for 18 years, could have their convictions quashed.

This just proves Clem Sayers’ article on ‘Whom does the Law serve’ There would be consequences paid if you or I fell asleep in our jobs.

Murder?

Ian Huntley will stand up in court this week and admit that two girls went into his home and died while they were alone with him.

He will also admit putting their bodies into the back of his car and burring the 10 year olds’ bodies in shallow grave. However he is not admitting to murder.

Then what is this guy’s defence? Will he say that the girls killed themselves? How likely is that?

Fashion victims

Britains spend £23 billion following the fashions of the stars.

Unfortunately though we do not earn their money. Now who is the fool.

Hypocritical Abbott

MP Diane Abbott says that the reason why she is sending her son to private school is “not unrelated to gun crime in schools and is directly related to the way that black males are treated in society”.

This may be all well and good, Diane, but you have stood in objection to private schools before now. The people of Hackney voted for you because you claimed you live their lives. If your views have changed, time to resign in shame.

Nepotism

James Murdoch, the 30 year old son of tycoon Rupert Murdoch, was named chief executive of BskyB.

His father owns 35.4% of the shareholding and all other seasoned candidates were deemed unsuitable.

Right. I can just imagine how that selection process went.

Cover up

Kyle Minogue , 35, intends to keep covered in her videos, now claiming that she is too old.

Too late, I think we have all seen everything we need for now thanks.

Tax payers money

The MoD have just axed a £120million computer system originally launched in 1999. 12.2 million will be salvaged but £118.3 million will be written off.

Don’t forget folks, that is £118.3 million being scrapped. An MoD spokesman called it “regrettable”.

I suggest that we adjust their pay accordingly.

Down the pub

Social activities such as evening classes, chess or even going to the pub help men with mental agility.

This was a leisure time survey of 5350 civil servants aged 35-55. They took part in 13 activities including DIY and housework. They were then tested on verbal memory, maths reasoning, vocabulary and speech.

Unfortunately women benefit slightly less from these activities.

I think no commentary is needed here at all.

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~ by jeditopcat on 3 November, 2008.

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