07.11.16 – Clean out

Today was a productive and therapeutic day.

Today I hired a skip, got a very large broom, and swept away all trace of my parents from the downstairs flat.

I know that this sounds cruel and harsh, but oddly it was not, and it had to be done in order for the place to be rented out as an unfurnished flat.

The buildings themselves, which were erected both physically and emotionally by my parents, are longer lasting testimonies to who they were and the sacrifices they endured.

It is not the first time that I have sifted through their lives this year, but up until now there have always been something in the back of my mind, halting my progress to discarding their clothes, mementos from holidays, and aspects of their lives that they treasured so deeply, that they put all of those items in a box and brought them from England to Barbados.

Going through my parents things brought home the importance of living for now, as well as preparing for later.

My father had draws of new unopened shirts that we had bought him as gifts, or in an attempt to improve his appearance. Shirts which he had obviously decided to put down for another day, and continued to wear his thread born garments.

My mother, had a cabinet of glassware and silverware which were ”for best”, never to be touched or used, simply admired in the glass cabinet. I wonder if she ever used them. I wonder if she never intended to use them, or whether she had intended to find an occasion to free them from their transparent prison, that not only kept the glassware in, but also kept the pleasure of use out.

It felt irreverent throwing away carefully packed suitcases of curtains and bed spreads, that my mum clearly planned on installing at some point. As well as throwing away the bric ‘n’ brac that my father collected over the year. Old bits of telephone intertwined with spools of wire and cables, inter-dispersed with plastic caps random pieces of wood and metal, and ‘shiny things’ that my dad though he would put to good use at some point.

However when it was all done and I was satisfied that the property had be sanitised for general consumption, there was a sense that, not only had a significant task been achieved, but also that a chapter had been closed.

I am not the sentimental man, I am West Indian after all, and we have a more practical ‘matter of fact’ approach to death. Completing this task assuaged something in me, allowing me to deal with death the way I need to, as opposed to how others might expect.

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~ by jeditopcat on 9 November, 2016.

One Response to “07.11.16 – Clean out”

  1. Good, but difficult work. xxx

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